Pearl, Being strong or avoiding? Can't you be strong in front of him if you need to? You have been avoiding him but that isn't necessarily strength. What do you think? I don't want to undermine your strength, only point out that you came here to work on your R. You did what you could and it seems to me that it might be working now. I dont' understand why you would not want to see what is there? You don't have to change anything yet - have a talk - one with your goals in hand. Keep it focused and listen to what he says. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just because it isn't your timing doesn't mean anything. People change or start to change in their own time - if things were reversed wouldn't you want the same consideration? You can still be the fun loving person you are - again, I think R breakdown because something wasn't working as it should or at least was not compatible - changing things is what can make a difference. It is your decision to make by all means. I am just conveying some of my own frustrations and confused feelings in this process. I certainly wouldn't trust much, I would ask a lot of questions, and be very focused on what is said and or done and whether it is consistent or not. I think it is the awkward position we are in when R fall apart or separate. All kinds of thought and feelings come out. We can pull up all kinds of confirmation of any feelings we have at the moment because that is how our minds work. That is why goals help to maintain the focus and judgment.
If I have said the wrong things I apologize - it probably is my stuff coming out. I certainly want you to feel good about yourself and your decisions. And remember your friends just want you to feel better, IC vary a lot in their objectivity as well. I like MC because they are trained the same way - IC's vary in their training based on personal biases. But again, I am uncertain about sending this to you and hope it is received as intended. If it makes you angry just yell at me Please! I can take it.(actually not but I would deserve it if you felt that way)
