Is shaking them and firmly yelling "No, you can't not do that!" an option? That's what I would prefer. I almost think it might be better to avoid that knowledge at all costs. I don't know anyone strong enough to walk away from that kind of knowledge.
I really have to question what is happening to my w. She is just interested in ending our M. The S11 doesn't suffer as she takes care of him. She exercises on the treadmill every night (for stress she says). I've found no OM yet. She is sure getting ready to find someone if she hasn't already. I am the sole problem holding her back, as far as I can see. I didn't realize I was that bad of a husband to her. (I really did try to help daily and tried to be a loving guy to her, hell she was my world) I'm just reflecting, I made my mistakes.
Ral, Stop trying to analyze everything. You don't know what your wife is thinking. It is a waste of time to dwell on the past. Yes you made mistakes, we all do. This is all about her.This is her MLC, not yours, stop spinning , take care of you and the kids.Pray for your wife.TAKE CARE OF YOU.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
I did similar to Kerry once I figured out that her fling was going to continue. I actually kicked her out, split the money in the bank and opened up my own savings account.
Like he said, that's your choice.
I did the opposite, I let it go on for 3 years.
If I could do it over, I would do what Jack did. 100 times out of 100.
It's not easy to decide.
I hope there's not an A, but if there is, I'll just point out the most important thing about letting an A continue while allowing her to eat cake. It completely destroys the respect she has for you, and it'll really damage your self respect as well.
One can't love someone one doesn't respect. That's the foundation of friendship and love. Give this one some thought.
Your job is to get your stuff all in one bag right now, so she'll have a positive place to emotionally return to, and so that you'll be able to handle it if the outcome is less favorable. Anything that damages your self respect that much will only slow or stop that.
Like he said it's your choice. It has to be, cause no-one here can get a feel for your sit. as well as you can.
Quote:
The S11 doesn't suffer as she takes care of him.
You do as well right?
Quote:
I didn't realize I was that bad of a husband to her.
Do you really believe that? If you're here, I doubt it. Don't take on responsibilities for someone else's actions. I'm sure you made mistakes, we all did. Own your own problems and look after them. Leave the rest.
Best,
Punkt.
Last edited by Punktmann; 02/26/0901:30 AM.
These are my friends now!
But someday baby... You ain't worry my life anymore
Take away, take away what I don't need, save the good part please. Fade away, fade away.
Thanks for the insight, I know I ask alot of questions but, the strategy here is different than what you think it should be. I appreciate it immensely. As much as I can, I'm trying to preplan from here on out. Many Thanks my friends...
