What you're doing for your family meals is a beautiful ritual that will enrich the lives of everyone sitting at that table. A family meal, in my opinion, lies right in the heart of life. To respect it is to enjoy life and love. Your husband IS missing out. Maybe he'll join in soon.
Good way to handle the meal situation. You're respecting yourself and your kids. A leftover plate is a lovely thing to do for your hubby. It is "feeding your man," but not punishing everyone else for his erratic schedule.
Keep enjoying your family time!
And, don't forget to secure that weekend with your hubby to get away together!