Standing on the Edge

[native]

Msm,

I appreciate your willigness to ask about this perception we have. I have a great deal of respect for you and your insights. I hope that we can help you see what is in our heads when we hear the aforementioned phrases.

I have been so verbally beaten up by my w that presently I don't want to even talk to her....and I don't know when I will care to again.

Only about our child.

It just seemed like whenever she used that certain phrase, with a very specific tone of voice, I could see where the conversation would end up.

Perhaps with other women it is different, but with my W, it seemed that the inevitable course was an ever increasing cresendo of shrillness, reproaches, accusations and resentment until a certain peak was reached, sometimes things were broken, and I completely gave up trying to have a two way conversation.

It was never ever ever something I looked forward to or really knew how to derail.

I know now to validate her points (but only if I truly agree), but so many times they were her skewed perceptions she wanted me to accept as fact about my motives......I felt held hostage so many times and at one point just agreed with her, though I thought she was wrong. And she eventually didn't like that either.

She used the power of her anger to completely devastate me so many times. And for her, it always went to that place.

I'm sure that not all women are the same however....