A lot of people do have trouble with the idea that love is a decision. I understand it for myself as the person creates a favorable environment for love to blossom as a feeling in his heart and mind. For example, if I meet a handsome new man who shows interest in me, that man starts to appear in my thoughts. I can have good thoughts or not so good thoughts about him. By allowing the good thoughts, allowing the idea of him to stimulate me in that way creates the love feeling in me. Maybe not for others, but for me, I can feel love long before I know a person well enough for him to actually merit that feeling. I have recognized my role in creating a nest for love to thrive in. Once that nest is created, feelings of love can come into my heart.
Well, you're not likely to have good thoughts and create a nest for a handsome man you met that was rude to you, or insulted you, or totally ignored you. It's kind of hard to see the old man as the new man when you have years of hurt lying between you, that they think should vanish with the sweep of a magic wand.
