VH...I think I'm doing better....less time thinking about H...I think...LOL
One thing though...this past week I've been more sad than normal but this is the worst I've seen him...H has not called or even texted...this is the most he's withdrawn yet...maybe he's starting to feel HIS life moving forward, and feeling as though this is the life he wants now...
D16 has not heard from H since Christmas and neither has D22..they are feeling as though they have been replaced by OW girls who are 18 & 14...I won't get in the middle of it...I do want my girls to have a relationship with their father but it's up to him and he thinks they should come to him...well they're not the ones who walked out, who had a child with someone else, and now has a girlfriend....anyway...just venting again...
H is taking son tomorrow for the night...he has a relationship with s11 but he doesn't understand what has happened or why...he loves his dad and thats all that matters....
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Don't try to get in his head and figure out why or what he is doing. Even if you are right, it doesn't help you. (Or if you are wrong, for that matter.) It's a big waste of time!
I just posted a few things on YR's thread but thought I come here to just fill in a little.
Yesterday was S11's final basketball game...saw he across the gym and my heart just drops every time I see him...He texted me from across the way about what was going on in the game and I texted back....
When the game was over, we all walked out together, me, gimpy, and S11...I stopped at the bathroom, and they waited because I had son's stuff for his night with his dad in my car...
Well, we walked out to the car, small talk, told H he could buy my son a clock radio if he wanted to because I owed him that...I was going back to my car when H says, "I got my cast off". I said, "Really?"...He said,"yeah, the doctor said I can start PT in a few weeks, and I'm allowed to put a little weight on it", "I really didn't say anything cause I didn't know what he wanted me to say"...So, I just said,"what time will you bring Matthew home?"...he said, "not sure"...so I said, "ok, see ya later"...he said, "Bye"..
I went about my errands and my phone rings, "it's H, wants to know if $40 is too much for this radio for son...I said, "No"..but I had just said I was going to spend at least $35, so not sure why he called me about it...that was the end of that for the day...
So, why does he keep telling me about his ankle, and his therapy, etc....I've never asked him about it....I figured he wanted his OW to take care of him so I never bothered with it...I was still a little hurt about him letting her take him to surgery and no his sister...& my friends work at the surgery center...
Anyway, that's the update...only time H has spoken to me in over a week...
Next weekend is when my future son-in-law proposes to my daughter...looking forward to that....now that is going to be something H will never be able to see....she was his angel, and now she wants nothing to do with him....
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Treese, I'm glad to see your h had his cast removed...that means...soon he can go back to work and find additional work as well to supplement the main income.
Why does he continue to mention is cast, foot, etc.? Like a child, he wants your attention. He wants to see if you care enough to respond or ask questions. No matter what he's said or done, he still wants "mom's" attention.
Next weekend should be exciting and fun.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H's cast is off but he is in a boot for then next 4 weeks and therapy, so making more money is not in his plans....and I dont' think it ever will be....he told me in the beginning he would do whatever he had to do to make up the extra money....well it NEVER happened....I guess he figures if I don't say anything he doesn't care....
Im feeling a little taken advantage of....he really has no responsibilities....I'm letting him go do his thing while I stress a bit at home....he gives me his whole check right now and my lifestyle hasnt really changed just a little tougher to make ends meet...
And wow, I know this happens and I expect nothing from him, believe me, but he totally acts like I dont' exist...now that hurts a little...but I've kind of gotten used to it now...I guess it doesn't bother me as much...heck, I don't know...
Maybe it's time for me to have a MLC....get mean and run away....nah....someone in the family needs to remain sane...
OH well..another day in the life of Treese....LOL
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
[[[Treese]]] - just checking in. I'm sorry things are so very rough for you, although I can tell you are in a better place than a year ago. I know that I am too, but the painf eels just as intense. I don't cry every day anymore, but I've been plagued with feelings of desperation lately. I also have done some more snooping, and know the A continues. I read this comment by SC:
...you keep studying and analyzing and looking for that one thing you can say that will click in his warped mind and make him wake up as if from a trance and say "OMG, what was I thinking? Oh, my darling, I'm so very sorry!! Please forgive me and allow me the great honor of kissing your a** for the rest of my days!!!"
What a day that would be!! I am making my first call to a DB coach today. I'm confident that it is too late, but I hope they can help ME get through this.
Unfortunately, we are STILL in this together............
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
OMG DI!!!!! I'm so happy to hear from you.....I'm with you....My H appears to be moving closer to moving in w OW....he's there quite a bit....one reason my MIL told me it's over and I should just move on....I'm so tired of hearing that....
truth is, I am moving forward, I really believe I am....no I don't cry AS much but when I do it's very intense...maybe because it has time to build up...I don't know...I don't know much of anything anymore...I do know I miss my H, I miss his smell, touching his skin, just seeing him....I don't even talk to him...my kids have their life....we do do things together but let's face it...I'm mom..I'm there to protect them and love them no matter what....it just get very lonely at times...
Hey, got my oil changed today...all by myself....1st time...h has always been in charge of vehicles...and my car needs additional work so I immediately called my brother and he is taking care of it Friday night...I really am doing great on my own just wish I had a partner to share things with....
some day...maybe....for now....I'll just push through....day by day
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
