LBS need help and support #2

[faithisbelieving]

Song...my DB coach way back once told me I was making him dizzy on the phone with all my reading, etc. He once told me to just STOP....and live.

Finish the books then just stop. You need to just pick those things that work for you and ignore the stuff that doesn't.

Detaching is an alien concept for all of us since it goes against what we promised our spouses when we walked down the aisle. Dr. Gray's book has an explanation in it that basically says that as we become more dependent on our S's, we become dependent on their love. When they die or divorce us, we feel that we can't go on. Detaching is realizing that we can be loved BY OTHERS and we aren't DEPENDENT ONLY on the love given by our WAS's. By realizing this...you release the bond that if your WAW bails...they aren't taking your only source of love away from you.

You let go. You GRIEVE the loss. That book made a HUGE difference for me.

The hardest concept that I try to explain to people here is that by letting going go of of your WAW's....grieving the loss/death of what you had....feeling the emotions...and then moving on...it releases you to know that WHATEVER happens, you will be OK...that someone will love you again.

By doing this, it allows you to let go of the pain, fear, pursuit, anger, ....ALL THOSE THINGS THAT CONSCIOUSLY AND SUBCONSCIOUSLY PUSH YOUR WAS away. You are then free to focus on yourself and your kids. You start doing those things you need to do by not consuming your emotions and time by stressing out over your M/WAS. You grow...learn...improve and in so doing ....BECOME MORE ATTRACTIVE to ANYONE.

It starts by taking the first step....you must decide in your mind that it is over and grieve.

DID I SAY KICK OUT W OR TREAT HER LIKE CRAP OR SAY GOODBYE TO HER OR ACT LIKE SHE DOESN"T EXIST?

NO!!!!!

Think.

Think.

Think.

FIB