I made it to the roundhouse; now which way?

[Little Engine]

Outside days are good when the wind is low and the sun is shining. No nibbling ducks at my door when I am out of the office.

So I had the kids this weekend and W calls and asks if next week I would take the kids and meet her at nephew's daughter's birthday party? Why would she ask me to do that. I told her that I wasn't a part of that family anymore, so I would not be going. Why does she do this sort of stuff? Any ideas?

[Tawnya]

{{{LE}}} well I hope all of your outside days are like that..I bet those ducks are cute and I know you enjoy the break from the regular office "stuff"!! (just not in the cold LOL)

I wish I had a good answer for the question you asked, but I dunno?! Maybe to make herself feel like she tried to involve you, maybe she wanted to do something else first and just meet there, maybe the wind was blowing a crazy direction (LOL)..what do you think?

Tawnya

[Arthur]

LE - Don't worry about it. If you don't want to go to it, fair enough, but before saying no, did you ask why she was inviting you ?

I can't totally recall if your 100% done so if not, it would have been a great opportunity to go show the man you are, but as your here, maybe you are totally done.

[Babygirl]

hey le. sunday was so beautiful, i have no idea as always why she would do that.

thanks for the email.

[Little Engine]

Arthur--100% done as of 1/29/09. I'm free and clear.

An old friend stopped by work today to catch up. His W has dementia and is slowly slipping away from us. They both worked here when I was a pup and thought a lot of W and me and have been great friends despite nearly nearly forty years of age difference. He was shocked to hear the D was final and starting talking to me about what happened to them and they went through something similar. Now she has dementia. My MIL has dementia, he thinks that what my W has done is the same thing that his W did 35 years ago. She became selfish at that point and it was all about her. So it certainly sounds familiar and I am open to any possibility for why she did this. It also makes me worry for my kids. Hopefully by the time they are elderly, they will have discovered the cause and be able to fix Alzheimers and dementia. But as Chris Rock says "the moeny ain't in the cure, the money is in the medicine."

Had a huge discussion with XW on the phone yesterday and she indicated that her and OM met with the priest last week to discuss their future and what would have to happen to allow them to be married in the church. I burst out laughing when she said this, because I couldn't believe it.

Say a prayer for my kids if you would. Thanks all.

LE

[Arthur]

LE - Avoid her at all cost, she's lost the plot. Why discuss with you her future plans with OM ??? I don't get it. To rub your nose in it ? Bit sick if you ask me. My STBX made some real low comments to me when it first came out that she had cheated and I was angry and admittedly said some nasty stuff, but instead of understanding why I was so hurt, she would just throw more verbal at me....It's a justification for them I guess.

My STBX is also always asking what I'm up to. Like this weekend, I went away for 2 night and she asked about 6 times where I was going. I never say, just away with some friends. It's not her business, like hers is not mine, but then I have no interest in hers.

Not meaning to talk about my own sitch on your thread there, just trying to say I don't get why if your getting D you want or need to know what the other is up to anymore.

GL Buddy, I'm not religious but your in my thoughts

[Tawnya]

{{{LE}}}} wow..that statement by your XW had to possibly catch you out of the blue didn't it??

Glad you got to spend some time with an old friend..that is ALWAYS so great!

You sound good and strong and hope you have a GREAT day my friend!!

Tawnya

[Babygirl]

hey neighbor. good grief that xw of yours. does she know anything about the catholic church? about anullments? ignore her, heck i would have laughed in her face.
many prayers for your kiddos.

[cat03]

I founded hard to move on and healed as long as I know the details of stbx's life, what he was/wasnt' doing, bad enough he was in my thoughts all the time, so the best things was to just keep it all business and to the point (I'm going to ask MIL and SIL to please dont' tell me about his life either.)

It has helped me, I even cringe when he calls, I rather not talk to him unless I really really have to about the kids.

[Little Engine]

Cat--thanks for the post!
Arthur--It is a two way street, I always wonder if I am doing as well as you are!
Tawnya & Bg--Catch you in the other world

It guess it really doesn't bother me that she is travelling this path. She is happy and who am I to deny her that. I am frustrated--as I have been all along--with how she puts her needs ahead of the kids. As my friend said, just be the Dad who puts their needs ahead of yours and as they grow up they will know who was in it for them and who was in it for themself. Still hard when D cries "Daddy I missss youuu" over the phone in tears. W said on Monday, "Oh she is just being a drama queen." That is how hard W has become. So after last night I was a bit mean and just texted XW "Were those real tears or just her being a Drama Queen?"