I take what you say very seriously. Thank you very much for your post. I am deeply appreciative that you have been honest and vulnerable enough to let me know about the intimate details of your M. I know it must hurt like heck to write it all down for the world to see. You are one brave soul.
Your words:
I'd need to be sure in my mind that my W was willing to give me those things that I need to feel loved and I would have to believe that she meant them. In that respect she would need to change. I would also be willing to change whatever I could to make her happier in the M.
They really really help. Why didn't I think of that? I don't know. Of course, H would feel this way. I think this way too but was unable to formulate it in my head. Now, I need to think about what those things would be to have him feel loved. I need to think of those things for me as well because instinctively I didn't feel loved either, and that was what brought on the moods, I think. Having a passive-agressive Nice Guy H means that I am in a guessing game most of the time because he has the covert contracts in place. Ughhh. So difficult. To tell you the truth we had ML regularly right up to the night before I found out about his A! And we talk to each other everynight, all the time. I felt vulnerable yes, because he fessed up to a ONS the year before but honestly I thought he truly loved me and thought we were still very much connected. That's why it was a bomb. I really had very little signs of major problems. We had renewed our vows in November even. What a shock.
Anyway, thanks for the insight. Keep them coming, I need all the help I can get. Thanks.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
