I guess if you really want him gone, change the locks and have the horses loaded up and ready to go the next time you expect him home. I would also direct all the collection calls to OW's phone or his cell.
He can't keep you in limbo forever unless you allow him too. However you do have to be ready for it to go either way. I told my ex I was tired of the limbo and that I wanted to know what was going on before Christmas of 2007. He filed in November and didn't bother to tell me.
Hugs.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Morning WCW, checking in on you, it's been awhile. Sorry that things are so rough and I totally understand your frustrations. I had hoped that things had gotten better for you.
I pray that a change is on the horizon for you. One way or another. You deserve peace and happiness and I pray that you find it.
(((WCW))) TOH
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Thanks for all your thoughts. H has not left voluntarily, and I have not kicked him to the curb. The business equipment is still in use in the house, the horses are not loaded in the trailer. They wouldn't all fit!
What has happened is more issues with H's debt which is affecting my credit. We've had more conversations and emails, it's been intense. H also needs money for his portion of new equipment with his 'new partner'. H has talked about some things that went wrong in life and his plan for the cc debt he had to pay it off, his 5 year plan to be debt free. It fell apart, and while I knew he had debt and was struggling I turned away and left it alone. It wasn't my problem. My life was actually going pretty good. Then it happened to the whole country too, families wallowing in debt and unable to meet obligations.
While H still considers me a contributing factor to his debt (WTF? I fed the horses too much?) he does now say more of the truth about what happened and takes responsibility and is working on a new plan. He won't give me details (yet). He doesn't trust me.
So that's about it. I still believe with whole hearted enthusiasm that this M does NOT have to end in D. H knows what I need, we've both done our share of crying this week. I cleared one of my own hurdles and told H that I loved him, and I signed an email Love. If H does pack up and leave he will go knowing that I love him.
One more thing, I went to church this week. I cry, cry, cry. I don't understand why church makes me cry.
Work has been crazy busy and I am thankful.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Happy March! There's been a lot of activity with business stuff so H and I have had more than usual contact. That almost always makes me feel better, I know it's because I still can't properly detach from H or our life.
We spent another whole day together. H came along to help me haul some horses and unfortunately we ended up in the ER. Turns out nothing major, but H will have limited capabilities for a few days.
The ER trip preempted some other plans we had made, but we did go to some friends for dinner and socializing. It was nice to hear H talk about things in his normal voice. I learn a lot just listening to him talk. It's like we learn about each other again while we talk with other people.
H's first horse for training arrives within the hour. That is a huge change.
H saw the bill for his health physical and freaked a bit. Yes dear, all those tests are expensive even with insurance. We're still tap dancing around cc discussions, H is still keeping the amounts hidden but is 'whining' about all of it. I offered again that if he wants to work together we can make a plan. He just said "I know you will". I have said enough that he knows I will help, he knows that his choices DO affect me, those are acknowledgements H would not make before.
Baby steps? heck I don't have a clue but it's probably not baby steps, just change. But I wanted change and I am getting it. Like it or not!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
Aw Jeffie, you're exempt. (sorta) I don't think all men are alike, but I did think that bachelor had some real problems long before last night. He's a wreck! He gave the standard lines - I deserve to be happy, some people will be hurt and won't like this, follow my heart. The guy should wear a big reg circle with a diagonal line thru it!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I can't even turn shows like that on, so I'm not even going to ask. I would rather watch a cricket match, heck I would even rather watch parking lot surveillance tapes. Those kind of shows fall under the train wreck category.
I'm going to pose a question here for the "bachelor". Why go looking for a relationship if all you can think about is yourself? If your looking for a relationship, the focus needs to be the other person. The only way you can be truly happy is if you can make the other person happy. Start with sacrifice buddy.
I don't think all men are alike, but I did think that bachelor had some real problems long before last night. He's a wreck! He gave the standard lines - I deserve to be happy, some people will be hurt and won't like this, follow my heart. The guy should wear a big reg circle with a diagonal line thru it!