Divorce looming #4

[K4D]

25,

You are really awesome. I'm glad you started talking to me. You have really helped me out and boosted my confidence in myself.

My dad thinks my W will go over the edge and eventually ask me to take the kids to. I kept telling him that will never happen. But now I am starting to think that it might happen.

Yes, I hope this A runs its course. But in the mean time, I am going to work on me. I'm actually looking forward to Florida. I will miss my W and kids. I know I will.

But I will start building an actual future for myself. At 34 I should have something in savings, and I don't. Financially I will be better off without her. She can't save a dime. Never has been able to.

Its going to be hard basically starting from scratch at 34. But I still have time to build a future. I'm fortunate in that.

I can handle not trying to reconcile for 10 months. You know, this is actually good for me to sign this. It forces me to stop the R talk. There will be some mystery alright. I won't be telling her much of what is going on with me.

I am letting her go. I never thought I could get through all of this when it first started out. But somehow I have managed. And I feel like I have grown stronger through all of this. I couldn't have said that a few months ago. But now I feel like I can handle this and move on. I am actually appreciative of the time she took for this to let me build my inner strength.

Don't get me wrong, there will be hard times ahead emotionally. But I didn't think I would get this far. I thought I could never handle her sleeping with someone else, and somehow I have made it through even that.

Infact, it doesn't even really bother me so much anymore. I have pretty much moved into the stage of acceptace of that.

I'm not going to attack them. I'm going to let her make her own way. I do hope someday she comes back, but I can no longer stop my own life for her. And she has told me that to. Well, I am now moving on. I'm starting a new life without her. Whether or not she will care doesn't matter anymore.

I still have alot of life to me. I'm still young. I can still enjoy alot in life. I'm going to.

Kevin