Devestated

[SoCo]

I posted over the weekend about my current situation. My h and I separated because of lots of lies and strange behavior on his part. It's been about 2 months. I have thought and thought and wanted us to work on things and try to save our family, for us and the kids.

I was willing to forgive, work, and try to grow and move on. My h has been staying w/a friend and the kids and I have been in a townhome for the last 2 months. I came to the decision that I wanted to ask him to come stay with us and work on things. I wanted to move forward and try for the sake of our family. All this time he has been saying that he still loves me, misses us, blah blah blah. Of course he still wanted to sleep with me.

He comes over last night, we have a nice dinner, play with kids, etc. They went to bed and he had been lovy dovey all night and day with tm's etc. We made love. I then told him I had an idea, about him coming to stay with us while we work on things. Instead of being happy and wanting to try, he blows up at me and starts chewing me out. I have put him through two months of hell, etc. etc. He says I should have wanted to live together and try in November. He stormed out and even left his freaking shoes in my bedroom. He said he'd get them later. I'm so devestated.

All this time, he tells me he loves me, misses me, etc. and then when I pour my heart out and open the door for us to try to make it he blows up?? I feel like I have been used. I feel like a freaking prostitute. I wanted to cry all day at work today and had to fight back the tears all day. I was willing to try to forgive and move on from the hell he put ME through leading up to the separation, but he will not do the same for me and his family and kids. That's it. I have to find a way to just make myself not care. How does someone do that? H is about to go sign a lease for a year for an apartment. That's it. I don't know if he has found someone else, or why he would turn on me all of the sudden when I decided to pour my heart out to him. I guess I'm good enough to "love" in bed, but not in the same house. I feel literally sick to my stomach. I don't even want to sleep in this bed. I have to keep the happy face on for my kids. God, how do I do it?
Me-32
h-33
Married 12 years
separated- 2 months
son-8 daughter-3
looks like divorce is looming...