And while I cheered and congratulated S8 for all his good works last week, despite this being a plus for STBXW, this immediate setback at the very start of his week under my care sheds a very negative light upon me and my parenting.
It doesn't help matters that he would not complete his homework assignment this evening according to the instructions his teacher sent.
Ok, this happens to me almost every week. The kids spend Friday night and Saturday with their dad and then come home. I usually have the worst day of the week that 24 hours after they come home. I think there are many reasons for that in my case and prob. yours: first of all H keeps them up very late Friday night which I understand he sees them so little I would prob. do that too if I had them one night a week so they're exhausted when they return, also AS kids are horrible at handling transition and switching from one parent to another is a huge transition, also I also think that kids act out the worse with the parent they feel most comfortable with. My S15 tells me some of his horrible depressed feelings sometimes and I've asked him if he shares those kinds of thoughts with his Dad and he says no. Their therapist said she thinks they consider me their "emotional" parent whatever that means, but I think she basically means they feel they can act and vent with me and I'll always be there and not leave them. Maybe they feel more safe with you than your W???
I do think counseling like Cat suggested is a good idea. Aren't your boys already seeing someone? If not, that's good. My S15 seems better now after a couple months of therapy, not completely back to himself but on his way at least. ((((NC))))
Also re: the homework. My kids the only reason they balk at homework is usually b/c they are having some kind of problem with it. They don't understand it or feel they can't do it. Usually after a couple ?s I can figure out what they don't understand or it they think they can't do it, break it down into smaller pieces. That usually helps.
BTW, one day when i was feeling just like you and my D9 was melting down after a visit with her dad, I asked her do you do this with your dad? (He tells the C that she doesn't). My S15 overhead and says yes she does do that with dad. Apparently he won't admit to that and even lies about it for some reason. So I doubt your kids are perfect angels with your W either!!! Karen
