The club was created for support with detaching. I was still living with xBF at the time and was finding it extremely difficult to coexist. Someone here offered me some great ideas on this. And it was nice to have a place to come and vent specifically about this subject.
To me, going dim means pulling back or as Puppy likes to say, being friend-ly without being a friend. I received the same advice from my DB coach. Because I had always been the one to intiate the conversations I did not initiate any conversation but was pleasant to xBF and responded if he talked. I kept myself busy with projects in other rooms. Yes, it did feel like walking a tightrope. But I think that is common for people who are living together and trying this approach.
I have benefited greatly from going dark after xBF left the house (at my insistence). It has helped me to detach, something I was not able to fully achieve while cohabitating. It has allowed me time and space to work on myself.
Honestly, I think the people who have come here and stayed here for the support understand what we're trying to accomplish. As Michele advocates, take what works for you and leave the rest. And as is the case with this entire board, if you don't agree then don't come to this thread.
Last edited by pearlharbr; 02/25/0912:35 AM.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
