Okay, call me an old grouch, but why is so many people suddenly using this term of going "dim"? If you live in the house with the person you are M to, you don't want to go dim b/c it will appear that you are mad or in a "mood". It would be like trying to walk a tightrope and you would probably fall to one side or the other, never knowing which way to lean. The principle Michelle teaches it ot pull back (detach) but you don't go dim. If it is used in Michelle's DR book, please tell me what page and I will sincerely apologize. There are some stitch's where going dark works well. That is usually cases where the couple does not have children or will not likely be seeing each other every few days. How can you go dark if you are co-parenting or living where you see your spouse everyday? Why not just detach like Michelle teaches? I've never heard where people who claim to go "dim" has had any success b/c how do you maintain a R based on dimness? If you don't live together or see each other often, you can go dark. Otherwise, it is best to use the detaching method.
I think my list works well for people living under the same roof, but then that is my biased POV (LOL).
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
