I have two sons from a prior marriage. My ex-W abandoned them, and I have full custody. My W basically came into our lives, has been a part of their lives for 5 years, and they started calling her mom, etc.
While her EA/PA was going on last year, she became more negative, quit telling them she loved them, and since our separation, she has not really engaged them in conversation, told them she loved them, etc. although she claims to want to be a part of their lives, she doesn't really show it except when she random text-messages me to see if I've done certain things for them.
We had a phone call recently where I told her that I wanted her to focus on our D, and leave my Ss to me. It breaks my heart to see them being abandoned again because of her A, but during this period of legal drama, I'm wondering what steps I should take in regards to her relationship with them?
Initially, she wouldn't speak to them, would walk in and out without saying bye, etc. When I argued with her about it - she bought them ice cream, and spent a lot of time with them the following day. After that, it was back to ignoring them, etc. - so I just feel like their lives will be better off without her while she's acting this way.
Then there is that part of me that says she has been more of a mother than their biological mother prior to the A. But ultimately, I think I'm understanding that while her A is going on she isn't thinking about their best interests, nor even our D's best interests.
I can't control her being involved in our D's life at the moment, but in terms of my Ss I'm starting to consider cutting her off completely there. Not to be mean - but because:
a. She hasn't shown any interest b. The situation is negative for them
Any thoughts on how to handle the relationship with stepchildren while a Div is in progress?
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
