Probably should be in Piecing, but Going to Stay

[Still Waters]

I agree with all that, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I did ask her once to move back in (this was right when I confronted her about the A) so we could work on healing together, but she balked at it. Said she wasn't ready for that.

The problem for me right now is trying to DB AND address these issues and concerns at the same time. If I'm DBing, I shouldn't bring up these issues at all and should let her come to me. I should let her have her space and continue GAL and PMA on my side. But there is that side of me that just wants to say "How can I not be included at all in your steps to heal from an affair?"

She comes from a conservative Christian background, and in her youth she was VERY involved with the church. Not so much anymore, but she still considers herself a Christian. And right now I have no idea what her feelings on M and commitment are. Before all this I would have said that our M is the most important thing in her life to my W, but clearly it isn't since she had an A and ran away from the M. Right now she's all about "doing what's best for her," and other WAS catchphrases.

So I'm in limbo, like so many others. I've been doing a great job focusing on and improving myself and my life, but I'm not sure how dark I should go with my W.