Que Sera, Sera - Whatever Will Be, Will Be

[pearlharbr]

Just popping my head in for a minute as a break so I need to keep this short.

First of all, I second everything my friend JD said. It's hard, but it is in your best interest to stop overanalyzing and just concentrate on living your life for yourself. I was guilty of doing that too at first but found I was able to get off the emotional roller coaster when I started to think about me and me alone.

Regarding practical matters, I'm in a different situation. We have a lot of stuff so I just set out some of the household items for xBF to take. I gave him the basics, a set of dishes, couple pots and pans, couple sets of sheets, his old comforter, etc. Just the things I didn't think I would need because I am planning to leave most of that stuff behind when I move. He is taking the guest bed, one of the tvs, and an extra dining room set (we have four, long story) but didn't mention any of the sofa/chairs. (I did give him the old stuff or the ugly stuff. Hey, I'm not going to furnish his love nest with my nice things!) I have no idea how he's getting the rest of that but I really don't care either. I don't want him to spend too much on buying duplicates of things I intend to leave anyway, but ultimately it's his responsibility to furnish his new life because these are the consequences of his actions. And it's not like he can't afford it.

I know your H is in school so you're probably not in the same financial situation. I would say you should keep the car if you're the one paying for it and he's the one who wants to leave. It's up to you if you want to be nice and let him use it for errands occasionally. And you should keep whatever else you use regularly like the computer! I'm not sure if you've thought of how you're going to handle the finances. We had that discussion the day I kicked him out. Made sure I knew who was going to be responsible for the bills and if any other changes would be made. Perhaps you need to sit down and make a financial plan that will include a budget for buying new household items. Don't make a big deal out of it but it is a practical matter that needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later. He needs to know that he's going to be on his own and needs to deal with practical matters.