My first step out of Newcomers

[saffie]

Sandi,

I could be wrong but I don't get the feeling CIW is trying to out do his W with the night club scene.....I think he was just trying to GAL with his mates and from what he said I don't think this weekends trip away is that sort of GAL activity.

CIW - I hear what you are saying about your W moving further away and you not being able to see what works and what doesn't. Have you thought about going absolutely dark apart from contact and conversation about your son. No conversations about what you are doing and no making enquiries as to what your W is doing. If she tries to tell you be polite but just try and change the subject. Don't let friends get involved and tell you what each other are doing as that hurts and can send out mixed messages - if friends try to tell you what W is up to make it clear, in a nice way, you don't want to know. I am sure that will get back to her and make her curious. Let's face it, you will never lose contact completely because of the wee man - so you will always be able to step up chit chat and conversation if you want to. Go mysterious. Accept that she is going to live a bit. She is YOUNG.When you are young and want something you push and push until you get it.....and then, when you get it, often you see that it is not as good as you thought it would be. I am sure her parents and the responsibility of the wee man in a house by herself, will bring her back to reality gradually. Everything is a novelty at the moment. This all needs time to play out and stabalise. Ever since you have been on these boards the ground has been shifting quite quickly...........let things settle for a bit and then review it.