I have so many thoughts about your situation. It's hard for me to even express them or help you with the knowledge.
I think both you and your wife have many things to work through. I think both of you want to just have these great feelings and just naturally do things for each other to show that love.
I understand your frustration. You are giving, giving, and giving some more. And, she is not giving to you the way you need.
She thinks love is that fantasy love feeling. She's waiting for something like that to come. You think that she should just do these basic loving things that you have asked for. You are waiting for that to come.
Neither one of you want to sit and talk about it. Because if you have to TALK about it, then it is not real (in your mind).
Love is a choice. If you want to love her, love her. It seems to me that she is choosing to love you, but is not showing you the way you want to be shown. You need to keep calling her on it. I'm not saying this is easy...or fair.....it's marriage. You keep working on it. Are you choosing to love her? I think you are. Just keep doing that.
If you don't want to have this relationship talk about your needs, then go along the way you have but with more purpose. Perhaps, do the Love Dare.
Or, have that talk. Communicate. Tell her you NEED something more....tell her you NEED her to go to Retrouvaille with you. I really don't think she'll say no if you tell her you need this. She seems to me to have chosen to love you and be with you. I hear you as the one that hasn't made the choice yet. But, having you be the only one writing on the forums, I'm basing that just on your posts.
