Hope everyone in enduring with strenghten and happiness. Just wanted to say hello and to fill you all in on my status.
So again I think I messed up DB today. I was driving to work and I called my H and asked him what does he think about starting the divorce. I get confused between what DB said I should do and what my T said. He said that I need to ask H about his intentions and DB says to not bring up the marriage until he does (which seems like it will never happen anytime soon). I feel that H has pulled back again from me. He was before calling me to say hello and to fill me in on his life and now he just calls about business and that's it. I've been trying to stay not totally dark but dim with him, I let days go by with no contact. Anyway, back to my convo with H this morning. As expected, he says if I want to process the D then go ahead he will sign but I keep doing all the things and rushing things and it takes time to work things out. Work what out - - his relationship with OW? I of course told him that its been 5 years dealing with him and OW, how much more time does he need. He said he understands, and I said yeah you're always so understanding. He even said that he's tired of the situation and the stress of it all (I definitely think H is beginning to love bust with OW. Although he's been with OW on and off for so long, he's always had me there to give a secure life. Now its just him and OW to fend for themselves. Hehehehe. I like that part of this whole separation. He needs to realize that his unhappiness with his life is him not other people.). I said I thought you were leaving to be happy since you weren't happy with me and that you said you were going to enjoy your freedom. I even asked him what actions is he taking to work the situation and he prettimuch gave the usually response, I don't know. H even tried to deflect by saying I'm always calling in teh morning with some question. We ended the useless conversation with me saying that I guess its my decision when to process the D. He seems to have no intention of getting D but he also isn't showing any signs of working on the M either. It's been 5 mths since we separated and its seems like so long. Then I called back first to be nice and said see I'm not calling to ask hard questions but I sneaked in a question in the convo and asked him what exactly is he working on. He said "I don't know." The number of times I've gotten that response is unbelievable.
So, what do you guys think of the conversation. Should I have not call in the first place? Was I wrong in my approach? But as a DBer don't you just get tired of tiptoeing around your spouse about the issue.
