PM, you really are an amazing woman. I should be more like you. I have never been good at validating my H. I always felt so fake when trying to do it. I don't have a problem with anyone else, so why would I have a problem with him.
When we were going through our bad time after he found out about OM, he told me that he never felt like I was there for him. I almost fell through the floor and then it made me mad b/c (without going through pages to explain) I felt that I had devoted my life to trying to support him and be there for him in whatever he did. When I mentioned just a few things to remind him, he then said that he did not know how to "explain" what he meant. He never has been able to communicate with me about his feelings. It has been a "guessing game" for me our entire M b/c he did not know how to express much of anything.
I compliment him on how nice he looks or things he has done, but I don't think he feels it is enough. However, it goes both ways. Whenever I have brought up the subject of him not validating me.....he acts shocked that I don't "just know it" and nobody should have to tell me.
So, maybe you could help me learn how to validate him without feeling or sounding like I am being as fake as a $3 bill. (I hear the $2 are back...LOL)
I want you to know that when I bring up anything in your stitch, I am not giving you a 2x4, but only expressing my own POV. I think you are an example for all the LBW's that want to stand for their M as long as there is hope.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
