Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing

[Thinker]

I've been trying to detach and back off more - really trying to stop pursuing. I read a lot on NewMe's thread about detaching and codependence that really sounds familiar.

Once again, I am finding it really hard. The more stop pursuing - don't initiate any sort of contact, etc - the more she seems to interpret it as rejection and backs away herself.

This is one of my big fears. She feels I was never there to support her in times of trouble (I was there, but probably not very supportive) and I am afraid that she is now going to feel "see, I told you, once again I am sad and down and you aren't there for me" Sometimes it really just feels like she matches my pulling back.

I just have to deal with it and be patient.

In the meantime, I am heading out on a business trip this am. 3 days away. The last time was a nightmare - literally no contact from my W, and she started up the EA again (and tried to take it further) while I was gone.

This time I am a lot more relaxed - really just wondering what is going to happen.

Sandi - I'm also taking more of your advice and making another change -- just started growing a mustache / goatee. Never done that before