Thanks saffie, I'm going to get some kalms and see if they help.
You're all going to think I'm horrible here.
My mother has a bit of a drink problem, not alcoholic just has a drink most nights and slurs etc, anyway I hate it and it's always caused problems as when she would call I'd get upset and then he would lie and say she hadn't been drinking.
She tells all sorts of stupid lies, stuff like your cousin wanted you to call and I'd call and cousin hadn't said it, really stupid stuff, hard to explain. She kind of manipulates. Anyway, she is a lovely person although a bit of a drama queen. When this happened, I really didn't want to tell her because she always says stuff like oh don't worry me, oh this is so awful blah blah. So she called the morning after it happened and I tried to pretend everything was ok. Ten mins later she called back and said I know something has happened. I said to her that I really needed someone to trust right mow, someone who I could trust not to repeat what I'm saying. I explained how much she hurts me when she lies. She promised she wouldn't so I told her. She had been good listening to me etc, not always giving best advice but was there for me. A few days later my brother then my cousin sent a text asking how I was.
I asked mum if she had told them, she said no, I said mum please, please tell me the truth and she said no she swore she hadn't, I could trust her. This morning she mentioned going to my cousins, I said I know you told them and she again said she hadn't then admitted it. I said the only person in the world I have that I can trust has practically left me, why are you doing this to me. She said as I always knew she would, about how hard this was for her. I knew it. She has my dad to tell, I'm so upset she has broken my trust. Feel like this is my fault all along. She actually said she had to tell them all because I was driving her mad. I just felt like S@it.
H long before we married told a stupid lie to me and I kept telling him how I can't stand lies, it was to do with ex but I kept going on and on about it. Haven't done for a good year though but I'm wondering if I put too much on people telling the truth.
I never, ever lie. I feel like now family know, the rot has spread. I wanted a chance to work this out and now it's blown up in my face. I know the drill, she tells one person, they tell another. I can't stand it. I'm not ready for them all to know yet.
I also explained last week that if she had told my brother I needed to know because I then didn't want to lie and say everything was fine when he knew it wasn't thereby, me telling him lies. I guess I was protecting H a bit because I didn't was my brother to be upset for me.
I know I'm probably taking it all out on my mum but I really believed this time she wouldn't lie to me. My H is better off out my world. His family are so respectable. I was very concerned MIL would call my mum and my mum would be drunk. I didn't want a big wedding but my H said I'd regret it so we had one and I begged, begged, my mum just for one day not to get drunk, Guess what, she got drunk.
Oh poor, poor me :-)
Had to get all that out before I read the DR book again.
