Walk Away German Wife (WAGW)

[PortlandDad]

Today wasn't as good as the last two. It was rainy today and my W absolutely hates the rain, so she was already in down mood. Because both my W and MIL slept in last night, they both were up around 3am, and my W started right in cleaning again! She woke me up around 5am because she wanted to have a talk about our oldest S17, whom she suspected of taking some prescription medicine of hers.

That precipitated a big fight between me, her, and our S around 6am. Ugh. I tried to take her side in the firestorm, but I also know that my S didn't take the medicine, so I was trying to calm her down and be reasonable. I don't think I made friends on either side of the conflict.

I went to work and shortly after I got there my W called me and asked where her keys were for the expedition. They were on my keyring, of course, so I had to take an early lunch just to drive home and give her the keys. She did come out to the car as I pulled up and put her hand on my arm and said I looked sick and that she is worried about me. I smiled and told her not to worry and drove back to work.

Later, we all went out for chinese food. As we were leaving the restaurant, my son came out and vomited in the parking lot (something that he has been doing a lot since his mom left) and my W freaked out. That started an argument about why he was doing it (the doctor said it is stress-related and he is on anti-anxiety medication), and my W asked me bold-faced if I wanted her to stay here so that everyone can get over all these maladies (loss of appetite, depression, anxiety, breakdowns, etc.) I so wanted to tell her "yes", but I resisted and just said "You are an adult, and I won't tell you what to do."

She wouldn't leave it at that, however and she wanted to talk/argue further when we got home. She said that living here makes her miserable. She asked me if I thought her coming back was a mistake. I said that I didn't think it was. Then she asked why everyone was so depressed and sick. By that time I was getting tired of that line of questioning, so I said that I thought she could figure it out for herself, and that the kids' problems were something that I had to deal with on a daily basis.

It was a backslide on my part, but I didn't lose my temper, or blurt it out. It was more "matter-of-fact" than anything, but she started saying that I was trying to make her feel guilty. I replied that I wasn't trying to make her feel guilty, but if she was feeling that way that maybe she should think about why that was, and then I left her outside to smoke her cigarette and I went back inside.

She was angry when she came back in. She took one of my sleeping pills and tromped upstairs to go to sleep. I talked to my MIL for a few minutes, then came to read the DB forums. About 30 minutes after she went to bed, my W got up and asked me to come hold her warm until she fell asleep.

It's amazing the swings in her emotions! One minute I'm the enemy and trying to force her into a gulag, and the next she can't go to sleep without me holding her. I'm not expecting a miracle (yet).