True enough, all along I have tried to get my point out there in the R - but mostly, it had been awhile for me being M and so i wanted to work at it better. So put up with more for a short time, then last year I decided I would put my stuff out there and if he didn't like it he could leave me or he could accept it. H response what to drink more, act out to the point that I asked him for a decision - counseling, sobriety or separation. He moved out 10 days later.
I have stuck to my side of things since then, and he has rebelled, argued, walked out, gotten so drunk he ended up in the hospital and now is sober and in IC. He no longer wants a D, wants to work things out, but on his terms. I won't give in to that so it continues to be negotiated on his part - ie. he won't give up now and even though he sees how bad it has been - he wants us to make something better.
Having time to think and talk it out, I don't know what to do other than give it more time - he has dissappointed me everytime. I just said he won't give up but the minute I start to work on it with him - he will bail in a second. Tough place to be - just giving his AA sponsor and therapist some time to see if they can make a difference. In the meant time, I am feeling less hopeful.
