LOL!! I love you already. I walked out of the house because it was the first time I did something that gave me some say and control. He left us in November. He came home when he wanted. He did his laundry there. He made dinner there. He would TIVO his shows there. He came and went whenever he wanted, for the most part and when I asked for a little more privacy to get my mind straight, he said no pretty much. When I said I was leaving he got close to begging me not to do it. He said he would give me some space, promise, promise, promise, etc. Since moving out last Friday, we have had more conversations that give me information and insight into his unhappiness, his problems, his fears, his life and his hopes as it relates to the marriage and life in general. I may be a weirdo but for me, moving out was the BEST thing for our relationship, if only to give me some answers as to what his motivation was in leaving, some real answers. Before this, he was utterly vague. He even gave me specific events and specific feelings this weekend. And these two months have been the worst of my life. I lost 19 pounds.....I wasn't over weight to begin with. And since I left, we've spent more time together of a quality that reminds me of when we met. I truly think my H had no idea what divorce would mean for us as a family....the shared time with our S, the traveling from house to house, the cooridination.....I think he thought it would continue to be him staying with his buddy, drinking beer, watching 24 with Kiefer Sutherland and reality TV, coming and going when he felt like it. Unfortunately for him, I think some reality has hit him square in the butt and forehead. What's more, I can always go back whenever I want. I thought the point of not leaving the house was to give you the opportunity to interact with the spouse.....I get to interact with him quite a bit, maybe too much. I actually think some distance is what he needs, to let him miss me. And before this weekend I can't say that he really did. And now here, staying with our friends (we are a very close couple and they hate that we are in this boat, and made it very clear, if my H were to say, Hey I want to live there too, they would let him because they don't want to pick sides--they've been very good about that)I can go out and "not be available" when he comes over. These friends LOVE our S and want to watch him. So I know it was a risk, but it seems to be paying off. Here's a funny story: My husband has a very public job. I used to have a similiar job at the TV station....(I used to be a tv reporter, and he's still in the biz, as we call it). Today some coworkers and I went out to lunch. A woman, waiting for her food as we were taps me on the arm. "You're a lucky lady" she says to me. I ask Why? She says "I work at "SLH's Favorite store with the cutest jewelry in this town. And I helped your husband when he bought your Christmas present. Those Swarovski earrings were gorgeous....." I didn't get a Christmas present from my husband this year. That's probably the time when things were BAD BAD BAD. I couldn't help myself. I asked him about it. He sort of yelled "None of your business." I said You're right. I'll let it go. Later he texted me, I think surprised I didn't text or call him, maybe she did let it go. He said "How do you know I didn't get them for you and then never gave them to you? How do you know I didn't get them for a friend for his wife? How do you know? What would say if I told you that's what happened?" I texted back, "Both of those scenarios would make me happy. Now you should let it go too." I am actually still very upset about it, because I'm sure the ex-OW from his EA probably has them....but I am working really hard to let it go. So now with all of that, I want all the advice and wisdom you want to give me. After all of this and really before it, I don't offend easily and my feelings are actually hard to hurt. So please, anything you have to offer me, I will take with both hands. Even after the weird way I learned of the Christmas present meant for someone else, I want to save this. And I know it doesn't seem like it, but I am a good listener. I just had to get out of that house with all the memories I love. I needed a break, an opportunity to think straight.
