I understand your desire for wanting to get back with your exW. HOWEVER, I think you need to set healthy boundaries.
Do NOT allow her in the "back door." IF (big if) she really loves you, she will realize the damage she has done. She will be more than willing to go slow. She will be more than willing to go to IC for a while and then MC.... If she is not willing to do work to repair the severe damage she has done, she is not worth your time.
I pray you find all the best.
Take Care,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
