Please help! I would like to gauge people’s opinions as to whether it sounds like my W is going through a MLC. I have posted a couple of times on the Newcomers and Walk Away Spouse threads and it has been suggested that I post on this thread as well to engage with people who may understand what is happening.

I am 39 years I have been with my wife who is 33 years old for 11 years; we have been married for seven years and have a daughter who is nine.

It all started towards the end of October when my wife suddenly announced that she was not sure if she loved me, we lived as normally as is possible for the next 3 or 4 weeks when she then announced that she thought a short break would help, just a few days she said, and I moved into my parents for a week.

I returned home and she said that she was still unsure but said that we should carry on as best we could to see us all through Christmas and then we would try and sort things out in the New Year. When the New Year came she turned into a different person and defiantly announced that it was over and we should split, I asked "what about trying in the New Year" and she said she didn't want to.

It was decided (not by me I should add) that I should move back to my parents for a while to give her time and space to sort her head out and I reluctantly agreed. During my time at my parents she would contact me and tell me that nothing had changed and it was over. My wife’s insistence that our marriage was over and that she didn't want to try led me to move back home after 3 weeks as I thought what is the point in being away and making both me and my daughter unhappy if it’s not doing any good.

My wife has quoted her reasons why she feels this way, and although I can see some of what she’s getting at, her reasons don’t seem bad enough to destroy our marriage. My wife seems to be focusing on these bad points only and can see no good in our marriage at all or not an ounce of good in me. The things she has said are things that can change quite easily, but she won’t believe that change can happen and just says she can’t change who I am and is therefore unwilling to give it a go.

The one thing she keeps saying that I've picked up on lately is things like I'm only 33 and I haven't done this, I'm only 33 and I haven't done that, I'm only 33 blah blah blah. One of my mates W went through something very similar when she hit 30 and went off the rails a little with piercings, tattoos’, out clubbing and stuff and this is exactly the same way my W is going.

My W just seems like a runaway train at the moment, a bit of a loose cannon, and seems hell bent on hurtling towards a divorce as fast as she can. Her initial thoughts were for us to have a legal separation but she's changed her mind now because she says she can’t divorce me for another 2 years then. She also said that she would never force me to leave my own home because as it’s her decision to break up she should be the one to move out, she's looked around and found out that she can’t afford to do that and changed her mind on this one as well and is trying to get me kicked out! It all just seems to have happened so fast! We went on holiday to Spain at the end of September and things before and during seemed like wedded bliss but then just a few weeks after getting back all this kicked off and now just a few months later she's ready for divorce.

She truly believes that she is doing the best thing for her and our daughter but can’t see the affect it’s having on our daughter.

My wife is definitely not my wife at the moment and has become a different person, not a very nice person I add, but because I love her so much I can see through this and want to stick it out until she returns.

She has said so many hurtful and painful things recently but they are like water off a ducks back to me and they don’t have the affect she desires. Over the last week she has become violent and attacked me several times, but again this is not her as nothing like this has ever happened in the last 11 years.