Punkt, you asked about my ideas of GALing, and my busyness may have been a problem in the M. I am success oriented and I am involved in many things. First I work 40-50 hours a week, I co-own a small business on the side and I have to constantly study and take certifications to stay abreast in my field. All of this has occurred in the past 5-6 years of the R going into the M. As far as the anger from my sitch, I manage, I try my best not to let it bottle up and get out of hand. And the exercise part, well if I worked out any more I would look like a professional body builder. I probably already do. My idea was to work and carry the load so that my W could concentrate on school and then we would both have professional jobs. You know, kinda set ourselves up to be comfortable enough to start a family. My W was aware of my thoughts on this. She worked maybe 3-4 days a week coupled with school and other than that, she had nothing else to do. Idle minds. Half the time she was not even taking classes and that was hard for me because I had a plan and I knew how hard I worked and what I was working for. With that said, in all these years, she is barely into her major and had stopped school all together. I told all of this to our MC a few years back and aked if my W's lack of involvement could cause her to seek out other things to take up time. Unfortunately, I think that is what occurred, she got involved with my neighbors W and they had a pretty healthy night life. That was her hobby. When I seen that it was getting out of hand I put a stop to it.
Through DR, I have been painstakingly looking at self and trying to correct my own faults as well as setting goals. I realize the areas I have not been my best, even though I was constantly trying and doing better. That would be the nurturing of the M. Just being so busy trying to make a future for us, I lost the balance at times. I would do a weekly to-do list and in that list make plans to spend time with my W, as well as picking out days weekly in my planner so that we could have time together. Well she hated that I did that. She would say, "I want to be in a spontaneous relationship where I don't have to be put on a to-do list or be remembered in a planner".
My W called me 2 days before Valentine's Day and left a message on my voicemail. Her attitude was horrible; it was about the mail situation. I think in an earlier thread I mentioned that we talked after this message, and the conversation I thought was really odd. I felt as though she was trying to bait, so I was trying to avoid. She called and left a message to see how I was doing I think the day before Valentine's Day. I think I'm getting these days mixed up but anyway, she left a message the day after Valentine's Day saying that she was trying to reach out to me and that it is crazy how I just stop communication with her and go dark. She said one day we talk then you won't take my calls. In the end, she says," Again I am calling to see how you are doing and trying to reach out to you if the requirements have changed let me know what I need to do, I know you can txt if you don't want to talk, but I guess you will call when you want". I have not responded to this, seems she always has the ability to put the ball in my court.
