2. The affair, in all cases, thrives in secrecy. The unfaithful spouse will seek out "permission givers" to support their affair, or at least provide euphemistic "non-judgement, we are all on journey" rhetoric. Once it's public they will have to face people who might not think their affair is a good idea. They will face reality.
Amen to that, Theo. Tacit approval in these statements. The LBS ends up almost completely alone, isolated, stigmatized for not being perfect enough to provide everything necessary to prevent an affair. Victimized for being victimized. Which also further strengthens the affair-pursuing spouse's position and resolve that they're being perfectly reasonable and everything is fine. My H even has the nerve to tell me he's the victim in all of this.
Lost another friend over the weekend. He was with H when he picked up D13--but couldn't even come to the door to say hello to me. I've known this friend for 18 years; he works for the church; nevertheless, he's more comfortable with H than with me. I truly don't understand. I had no idea that our overall morality was so very situational. I wonder what euphemisms he's used to justify his support.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
