My telling OMW pretty much ended OM's interest, even though W hung onto the A for a number of months later, even though OM continued to make up excuses for not meeting her.
Then my S16 put a whole lot of reality into my W in a big hurry. W was livid (and is still a little mad almost a year later) that I told the kids, but it's hard to look at your grown son's and be ok with what you've done.
The fantasy of her A was what I'm sure was so attractive in it. It was like she was getting away with something, and the trips out of town to see him must have been a huge turn on. After exposure, when your son is asking what you're doing everytime you leave the house, it has a way of putting a damper on the fantasy.
Don't know if our marriage will make it or not, but I think we at least have a chance that we didn't have a year ago.
And I understand completely what you're saying about your W not admitting her A was wrong. My W also. I still haven't got an "I'm sorry". I was told by my MC that if that was a deal breaker for me, I might as well hang it up, because it's very common for waywards to not feel sorry for their actions. I told him that was hard to take and he said "do you want to be right or do you want to be married?" So now I need to decide if its a deal breaker or not.
I'm lucky, my boys are very smart and "get it". No discipline issues so far, but I don't think they'll ever think of their mother the same way again. And that breaks my heart.
Nice post.
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
