Ali, I agree w/you completely that this is a textbook case of projection. She's a zoo, but is so steeped in denial and depression that she'll never get it.
Although I'd love to be able to send her something, I have to agree w/Kerry, Kalni, Jeff, and Carlos and let it die here. My next conversation w/her on this subject will be after I've contacted the pension attorney and started my end of things.
As for me, I'm doing ok. My mother was in town for the past five or so days and she was a great help in getting my apartment settled quite a bit. The kitchen is set up in a functional way, there is now shelf paper in all the drawers and on the shelves, each sink has contact paper under it, and all cardboard boxes are emptied and their contents have been sorted and put away.
D's room is done and mine is also cleaned up. The bathrooms no longer have "stuff" on the counters, but instead have everything neatly in drawers and under the cabinets. I'm now left w/sorting books, tools, tax records, and educational materials I've collected (and kept for whatever reason) over the years.
The sense of relief I feel is tremendous and I can't thank my mother enough.
On the XW front, she asked me if I wanted to let D stay last night w/my mother and I would just take her to school in the morning today. Of course I jumped on it, but I'm also smart enough to know she didn't do it b/c she was nice. I'm convinced she made this offer so she wouldn't have to face my mom at the drop off.
She's guilty and knows it and her subconscious made her extremely uncomfortable w/this possible meeting. She can't handle it and was "sick" last night as well. A coincidence? I don't think so. She had a terrible headache, sore throat, and was all congested last night. I spoke w/her and she sounded terrible. One day earlier, she sounded fine.
I'm probably reading more into it than I should, but it seems like an interesting connection to me.
As many of you have said, I'm beginning to feel that you were all correct when you said for me to wait b/c I'll be "offered" more and more time w/my D as time goes on. I think this is the tip of the ice berg from my XW b/c as long as she continues to deny and project, she'll continue to find herself too "overwhelmed" (as she puts it) to watch D full time.
