Thank you all.
It's a roller coaster for sure.
And you're right, JTB and Trapt, I'm not ready for all of the possible outcomes of an ultimatum. So I just can't take that route now.
What's more, in the last three weeks or so, maybe longer, but not much, we have started to see progress. So an ultimatum would be the ultimate backslide I think.
I'm really struggling here to be his friend, let him know the bridges home have not been burned and trying to put him in a position to come home AND save face. This is the advice/homework from my DB coach. (I talk to her again on Wednesday this week. Very excited.)

I know the dumb OW from the EZ is still calling him on occassion. But I do believe she calls him for advice and guidance at work. It makes me crazy and I have to let it go.

He was very weird this weekend. Very affectionate and the big kicker here, are you ready: This past weekend, the first weekend for me all moved out, we have had the best talks since all of this started. He told me some things that upset him during the marriage and was very specific. That is the first time he's said anything I could work with.

Let me take you back.......We were fighting once. I called him Father of the Year. I watched him when I said it and I watched him have a physical reaction to it--and not a good one. I knew that was something that I should not have said even before I said it, but I was just so pissed. This weekend he brought that up and how much it hurt him. I explained to him how hard it was to be alone so much on the weekends and I was lonely. And hence the bitching, then he'd stay away more, so more bitching from me and more time away for him, and so on and so on and so on and here we are. Ta-dah.
He also said "There was just no affection from you.....at all. Even during sex sometimes, there was no affection. How is that possible if two people love each other?"

Last night he came to dinner at where I'm staying (H and my friends H are very good buddies so it's very comfortable). He was leaving and he gave me a big hug and A KISS ON THE LIPS and said "Are you ok?" I said yes and asked him the same thing. He said "Oddly, yes I am......(big hugs between us) (he kisses me)He says "We're going to figure this out.....we're going to be fine." I should have asked what that meant because he said it earlier in the day too, but I can't push him just yet.

Any insight? Is this a stage? If so, what do I do?

I just need strength. And lots of it.