I know this is a marriage saving board. I'm just wondering if a bit less of putting up with stuff, more boundaries and self respect would win in the long run instead. Who knows.
As most people on the boards know, I have one of the nastiest MLCers. In the beginning I would put up with so much crap from my H in hopes of saving my marriage but no matter what he just kept treating me bad. There came a point where I said enough is enough and I took a stand for myself. There was/is only so much I can put up with. I have learned to choose my battles wisely. I learned that in order for someone to respect me I had to respect myself first. I learned to live for me, not for him. I learned which boundaries where necessary for me to set in order for me to live in somewhat peace. He tries constantly to break those boundaries and sometimes he suceeds.
I do agree with you, I do think their are many people that are willing to put up with any behavior as long as they save their marriage. I am not mocking them, that is their personal choice as it is my personal choice to save myself first.
So even though I came to a marriage saving board and did not achieve my original goal, what I take away from these boards is much more valuable.
