The Flames are Still Rising....

[blindsided1]

The Fire is Getting Bigger

Well, it's Saturday. New thread since the other one will be locking soon. I picked K up from her Dad last night. He was sullen. I ignored it. He lightened up and was showing me what he taught her. the only thing that pissed me off was the fact that he didn't feed her any solids, just formula. He knows what to feed her...maybe he was too busy. Anyway, when he was leaving. I told him that I really wanted us to just get along. That it would be better for K, if we could have a decent R. I just wanted us to be friends and good co-parents to our child. He just stood there looking down. He wouldn't even look at me. He wouldn't say anything. He was just quiet. I asked "do you think we can do that?" He just nodded "yes" and continued to look down and not at me. I told him that I couldn't do it alone, though. It was going to require some effort on his part. Any normal person would want that, don't you think? I mean...seriously, what did I do to him. If anything he should be begging ME to be kind to HIM. I just don't get him. I asked him to please stop hating me and being mean to me and he said, jokingly..."but, it's so easy". To which I replied "but, one of these days, you're going to go too far." He said "I don't go too far. I just know which buttons to push." I said, "yes, you do. Because you installed them." And, I left.

I need to remove all the drama from my life. H. OM. I need to start fresh. I almost want to just go away for a little bit and remove myself.

Well, today I get to meet SO2. I'm excited. We'll post.

[Tomato]

hello B

I am due a drink.

i am fasting today, so it will have to be non-alcoholic.

black cherry wishniak ..preferably Dr Brown's.

hope you are having a nice w/e ((( B ))).

T

[blindsided1]

Yes T, I owe you a drink.

So, met with SO2 last night. You're lovely. She's right about her H texting her ....she got multiple calls and texts while we were together...too funny. My H called too, but left no message??? It was nice to swap stories and actually watch our daughters play together. They were really cute. I had a great evening with you.

So, this morning, I text H telling him I can bring K at 10:30am. He doesn't respond, I text 3 more times over the course of a half hour...no response. I call. No answer. Finally, he texts me at 10:30 asking when I am dropping her off. WTH? I get there...he looks like crap. I asked him if he was sick, he said no. I told him he didn't look well. He was grumpy. So, the drop off was quick. I miss him. I watched him transfer K from my car to his and the whole time all I could think was...I miss my H. But, I'm over it now. I'm back home. Plan to stay busy. I feel a little lonely today, though.

Last night I was talking to my best friend. I've known her for 25 years, she is K's godmother and she was my maid of honor. All of a sudden, she tells me that she is tired of me being nice to people that treat me like crap. That I need to weed out the friends who are not good to me and make more time for her. She told me it pisses her off that I am kind to my H. That I bought him lunch (after court in November), and that I am more concerned with having a good R with him instead of giving back to the people that have been there for me. I was blown away. I had no idea she ever felt any of that. She went on to tell me that she's not always going to be here and that I need to realize that. I am not sure what is going on. I told my Mom and my Mom thinks that she may not really be upset about my R with my H. But, more that she may be upset that I now have a baby and can't spend time with her, as much. I don't know. Anybody have any ideas? In the 25 years of our friendship, she has never acted like this. And, the really hypocritical thing about it is....she was head over heals for some guy that was horrible to her and used her. She cried over him for a year. They would go months without seeing each other or talking and she pined away for him and still is even though they weren't ever in a committed R, and they haven't spoken since October. And, I was there....even though I was totally depressed about my own sitch...I was there to let her cry and not judge her or her decisions... to just listen. And, now, I am just blown away by her statement...that's all I can say about that.

[Startingover2]

We did have a great time!!! BS is a wonderful woman and her H is a fool!!

We just got home a bit ago. I need to regroup and will catch up later.

[blindsided1]

Happy Monday

[blindsided1]

I feel okay today. I feel like I am starting fresh for some reason...not sure why.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

that is interesting about your friend. However, since she did go thru it, and if she is over her sitch, then maybe she is putting some of that anger for herself onto you? I'm thinking it's not really K, and it is moreso about your H, only because of her having a sitch. So, I would suggest limiting convos about your sitch with her. It sounds like you probably vent to her a lot, especially since she IS your bf, and she's probably tired of hearing what sounds like people walking all over you. Again, she's just seeing the bad stuff, and not the good stuff in your R.

I'm glad your ready to move on. IMHO, the reason he had his head down is because he's starting to realize what an idiot he is, and he's probably thinking there is nothing he can do about it. It's interesting that he said he pushes your buttons. He knows he does this because he gets a reaction from you. It's the only reaction, or connection left that he has with you. so he thinks IMO.

what was wrong with you telling him yes about the date? I don't think that was really bad.

[Tomato]

hi b

that's too cool that you got to meet SO2 and that the kids got to play. sounds great.

i am sure a 25 year friendship can survive little events like that. guess she was havin' a bad day, a selfish kinda day, or something. It will resolve itself in short order I would think.

be joyful and be full of praise for the Lord.


T

[Tomato]

where's my black cherry wishniak? can't find any?

i guess that was a "rain check" U gave me or somethin' ... "I owe ya" ...

i'm thirsty and I love that stuff.


T

[S.T. _I Made It!]

oh ya, forgot to mention how cool it was that you and so2 got to hang out!