I know I am a tough old cookie in many ways, but it amazes me that a wife would have to compliment her H about his parenting skills! After all, it took both of you to bring them into this world and both of you are their parents. Does he compliment you for how you are such a great mother? Maybe he does and I just missed those posts. But, I suppose if that is what you have to do, so be it. I really do not know how you endure his selfishness but as I have said before, you certainly have a lot of grace. I do believe he should be accountable for telling the children of his plans instead of going through you and pushing the dirty work off on you. Even though it is him that is falling down on his job as a father, whenever you are the one that has to break the news to the kids, they are angry at "you" even if they don't mean to be. It is kind of like the doctor that has to give the bad diagonisis to the patient and they are angry at him. He is making you out to be the bad guy by always having to tell the kids that he isn't going to be around and you are handing them a package of disappointment. That is very unfair to you and he needs to be an adult parent and he should be made to face his kids or at least talk to them by phone.....none of that email, cowardly way. I'm afraid I would not have been able to wait 24 hours to say anything to him, either. He wants to pretend he isn't a father, and that he is young, single and carefree. Did you notice how he used the expression "boys time" when refering to keeping his son? It is just a suggestion, but if I were you, I would refuse to be his delivery person of disappointing news from now on and he can tell his children his own plans. Either that, or tell him that you are going to allow them to read the emails he sends you regarding his plans, since he is too much of a coward to tell them himself.

I just don't have much respect for a man like that. For your sake, I hope he grows up soon. I apologize for sounding so sarcastic and certainly was not aiming any of that toward you.

Take care,
Sandi


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!