This post was a long time ago. I hope you worked out.
My sich is similar. Wife went to ex-bf after being married to me 5 years. I moved out because the main problem with our marriage had to do with my depression and instability. I planned to go someplace and get a job and prove my that I can wake up from my depression and fix myself. While I was gone W got involved w/ ex-BF. He apparently hates me and thinks of me as the Other Man since he was "still in love with her" when I married her.
I moved myself back in to the apartment. I really thought she told me that we were going to work out our marital problems but it turns out that what she was telling me was that she wanted me to stay out so that we could start dating again while we worked on the marriage.
However, things all just burst. She was unwilling to let go of the OM even though she can't imagine being with him for ever. She can imagine us together though. But she chose to ask for a divorce rather than end the relationship with this OM.
I am moving away from her again, neither one of us can afford to live in this apartment alone.
I am going away to work on myself. I need to forget about this marriage for now because it is broken and I am the only one that wants to fix it. I can't fix it without her help.
The more I hang around the more pain I feel and the more I see that W is behaving in ways that are completely not true to her personality.
She wants a divorce now and I don't but I want to stand up for myself.
