It's the same problem with my W. I think she's trapped herself into believing there is no other solution besides D. She wants to be a stronger person and stop being a "yes" girl and a pleaser. If she comes back, that's what she'll be in her mind, that same old pleaser.
I think a lot of our WAS are like that. But I think it's not the LBS or the R that makes them a yes girl or a pleaser. It's their own actions and choices. Just because she has a different R in the future, she would probably still be the same pleaser unless she really works on making the changes for herself and continuing to work on that. I mean I have been working on those same issues, and feel I will always need to a bit, whether I am married to my H, single or dating someone else. My H says we had a dysfunctional R, but the truth is it's the people that are in the R that are acting dysfunctional, and I think you need to deal with that no matter what. Don't know if I'm making any sense here... Karen
