Divorced, but 'still hopeful' to reconcile.

[still hopeful]

No, you didn't miss anything. Yes, sleeping together did occur...after the good, fun s*x. But so far, my friend Wil's concerns about my XW's playing the blame game haven't come true and I don't think they will. I've talked with XW several times and she tells me she does remember everything that happened, but still wants me to fill her in on all of our talking. I told her I will, when she and I have longer than 5 minutes uninterrupted. I told her not to worry, she simply told me about her feelings for me and I simply want to verify whether her feelings are true feelings or were only true 'in the moment.' As careful as I was tiptoeing through that land mine, as fun as it was, and as much as what happened was what I truly wanted, I still understand that my XW's emotions are like the SE United States' weather patterns during hurricane season...volatile, dangerous, and predictable only in their instability. I've talked with her several times since, and none of our talks even hinted against remorse or blame on her part. So...no real change for us except that we added a nice time to our list of nice times enjoyed together.

I do believe that frank_D is correct, though, in keeping true to my boundaries no matter how appealing connecting with her in that way is. I am still selfish and I only really want ALL of her and giving her bits and pieces of me simply makes it easier for her to say away because her appetite for me is satiated because I keep allowing bits of me onto her plate. Not an effective way to win her back. I believe that ALL or nothing is, with regard to physical intimacy. I'm learning and growing. Learning about myself, my XW, and the dynamics in our R.

I'm bumbling through, but I am making progress, no matter how slow and painful it is. I know I am still in the 'game.' I still have the opportunity to make us both come out winners.