I am doing much better at acting "as if". I am doing better at being friendly not pouty or cold and much much better at not reacting to anything negative she does. She has been abrupt and rude a number of times this weekend and every time I didn't respond. I have also been able to not interfere at all when she is disciplining the kids even when I thought she is being to harsh. I figure she has been that way for a long time a while longer can't be much worse. I think she is also being hormonal right now so it is easy to disregard what she does.
On the other hand I am not good at detaching mentally. I still think about her constantly and have a hard time sleeping. I am totally distracted at work. At an oscar party last night, at a friends, everything reminded me of her. All the othe couples, many of the movies. And last night I dreamed about getting back together again. I have read that spending time alone makes it harder to keep your mind off of it and my 30 min commute each way is definitely a bad time for thinking. This is my main thing to work on.
As far as 180's I am trying to do something new each week and focus on that. I have done listening and not interupting pretty good and don't have to think about it as much. I have gotten the not reacting or interfering down pretty good and this week I am going to work on complimenting her. I am reading the 5 love languages and I think that words might be her love language. It is one of the things she mentioned a lot about during the breakup and she does it alot.
I am also trying to be more optomistic and just think of this as seperation where I am giving her space and not think so much about the worst case scenario.
Last edited by hopefulinEG; 02/23/0905:45 PM.
Me-38 W-44 D8 & D6 together '95, Wed '97, Bomb 11/18/08 Still in same house
