Que Sera, Sera - Whatever Will Be, Will Be

[pearlharbr]

I know you don't want to hear this, but going to MC right now is pointless if your H doesn't want to be there. You will hear/read this many times on the boards, it's what my DB coach told me, and it is also my personal experience.

xBF said he'd go to MC if that was what I wanted. He made it through two joint and one individual session, but at the end of each one it was the MC who was sort of pressuring him to make the next appt. I decided to keep going by myself and I do find it helpful.

I understand how frustrating it is to learn there are lots of things your H just never told you. Boy does that sound familiar! And you think, "I'm not a mind reader. How can I address something if I don't know it's an issue?" And you're right.

Keep in mind that it's good to get everything out in the open so you both have an honest picture of what's going on. But you cannot control his actions. That's why it's important to focus on what you contributed to the issues and how to address that and become a better person. If and when he's ready to work on the R you will be in a good place to do that.