The OW destroyed her family. She doesn't give a rat's a$$ about yours. Don't worry about her.
I think letting your husband know he needs to fire her is key. Don't back down on this.
Regarding the pets, what can I say? He thinks he's still King of the Hill and can dictate to you that he wants a pet-free, spotless house with daughters who are seen but never heard from.
Here's my long-term concern Yoyo....
Neither you nor your husband have really, deeply, fundamentally, changed since this all started. You both might be a little wiser for the wear, but he's still a narcissitic, hard-working, materialistic bubba and you are still a sweet, self-sacrificing, upstanding, moral paragon of the community. I like you much better and I don't think you personally NEED to change, but without it, the dynamic remains the same. Deep down he knows, no matter what he does, he can parade around, issue order, heck he can sleep with his secretaty, and ther are NO consequences for him. You are still there waiting for him patiently. His money, his pride, his ego, are all intact.
