Believe me, I've had to have people talk me down many a time.... glad to be here to return the favor!
You sound like you need a breather. You said you can't go dark-- why is that? You didn't have to respond to him online--- you can always show yourself as invisible so that you can talk to a friend uninterrupted.
Whether or not you should have asked about his "friend".... well, it really depends if you are in a place to handle the answer...and whether you can believe in it! In a perfect world, this is an easy conversation. But this is not a perfect world and we here are all in far from perfect relationships. It should be a no-brainer...but let's be realistic here!
You can't undo it now anyway. Just put it all into perspective. He is mixed up- he doesn't know what he wants. I am not excusing what he has done (or not done....), just reminding you that it should not change who you are.
You can be dark!!! Don't charge your phone....mark yourself as invisible when you chat online. Take a breath and regroup---even if it takes a day or two. You don't have to punish him... but you do have to strengthen yourself. You said yourself that you can't handle him. Guess what? You don't have to!!! This is YOUR life. Live it as you see fit.
We've both been at this long enough to know the answers. It's implementation that's a bitch...eh?
