Still getting nowhere fast....

[Bridgestone]

By the way, I de-stress by spending time on the computer, doing things with my girls and horse back riding with friends.

Look up WCW's threads I know she is a 'horse person' & lives in a near-by state. What else do you do with friends?

I have more things that I love to do outside that helps with de-stressing but none that can be done in the winter time like flower gardens, mowing the lawn, hiking, sunnbathing, etc.

It HAS been a crappy winter for doing things outside! How about rollerskating?? Is there a rollerrink near-by? or Ice skating?? Sledding?? Planning your flower gardens for spring (I know my gardening catalogs are arriving in my mail box) Some nature centers offer winter hikes... do you have one near-by?

I have been reading your stitch too and seeing where you are right now Bridgestone...your not that far off from me are you?

If you are referring to location... I'd bet I'm pretty close by.

If you are referring to emotionally & mentally, I've been where you are, about 2 years ago it sucks. I'm in a better place now.

But I understand the 'fog' and the self-doubt, and the hating to tell people because of what they might think. We all make mistakes... not telling & sharing with trusted people in your life is one, regardless of what you chose earlier, it doesn't make what he is doing now "OK".

As another WAW is fond of repeating the airline safety directions..you need to put your own air mask on first before you can help others put theirs on.

Save yourself first. Your interaction with him sounded good.

Giving him his card back tomorrow before his check clears leaves you pretty vulnerable to him stopping payment, doesn't it?

But I think you handled it well.. calm, collected, it sounded like it got you a different result from him. That's great!! He backed down and listened to your decision of what you were going to do.

I have found telling an abuser who is trying to control/intimidate you "I have decided..." sometimes helps.

Have you read any books about setting boundaries?? Have you read any co-dependent books by Beattie?? They both have some excellent things you can do to improve you that are independent of changes he makes or doesn't make.

You are strong.. you can do this. You can find help here to do that.

Peace
Bridge