I have some of the things that you are telling me to do already in place. I stopped putting money in my savings or checking accounts so that if a divorce was to happen that it would not show how much that I really had. I have been stashing it elsewhere. I know that my family would help me no matter what would happen but I don't want to involve them if I don't have to until that moment. When my H and I was geting a D early last year, my folks were there to help me and heard all types of things that I had not told them about before. Then when my H and I decided to try our M again, my folks were severly upset by the whole situation and can not forgive him for what was done. I don't want to let on to them yet that I may have made a mistake about getting back with my H and have to listen to them again until a D is going to happen again.
My H finally called me about 30 hours after he left yesterday to let me know that he would only be a couple more hours if that was okay? Like he really asked me to leave and stay out all night long in the first place!! When I told him that I had to take my oldest in to the ER for some tests that the doctor had ordered (this is for something that has been going on with her in the past few weeks) he asked if he should come too, I said that it was up to him if he wanted to be there. He said that he did not want to leave what he was doing at the time and would be home in a couple of hours. We went without him. Then since he was not with us, I took my girls out for supper and had a very enjoyable time with them.
When we got home, I got the girls ready for showers, and bedtime, did the dishes, picked up the house, and paid a few bills. All the while my H is sitting in his chair watching TV and dozing on and off. I did not talk to him about anything that was going on between us, actually I did not talk to him at all. After the kids went to bed, I went into my computer room, and that is when he came in and started an argument with me about the money again. Wanted his card back, when I said that I would cash his check in the morning and he could follow me to the bank to get his card, he got mad and threatened to throw all my stuff out in the yard. I kept my calm about it and tried not to get mad at him or stoop to his level. I told him again that I had trusted him and he betrayed me and had lied to me and that I was very hurt by what he did. He said he did not care. I said that I would bring the card back home with me a 2 p.m. when I got off of work and he could have it then if he did not want me follow me, he threatened throwing my stuff out again. I said that won't make getting your card back any easier. He changed his tune and asked when he could get it back. We agreed that I would bring it home with me after work and he would get it back as long as he had not thrown my stuff out or destroyed my stuff.
So this is what war negotiations are like????
Oh by the way he made sure that he threw it in my face that he dance with the sister of a friend of ours last night too. WTF for??? To make me jealous??? I just said that I already knew and walked away.
I really can't wait for him to go back to work. I am having a hard time eating right, sleeping right, thinking right. I feel like I am in a fog and can't see where I am to go from here. I keep asking myself if I really love this man or not? Am I in love with him still? Why am I still here?
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
