I most definitely see that and I can't say that Puppy really rubbed me the wrong way. The majority of what he said was great, it was just some of the interactions, like the one that started all of this, that I took objection to. I am simplifying the dialog here, but not overly:
Person: I just don't know what is going on with my spouse, they are distant and cold. I can't figure it out. More of the usual stuff here...
Puppy: Could be an affair, install a key logger
I saw this on more than one occasion. My point is that it is NOT an exact science and depending on the individual, it can really be damaging to send them down that road right off the bat. Sure, I am projecting my own experiences but I hardly think that I am an exception to the rule. Personally, I have had three friends whom I had to beg off the road of "snooping" once they started, one being the W of my then W's OM.
My only point is that "snooping" or initial "intel" ought not be the the normal prescription nor should it be given lightly. It ought to be the exception, and it ought to be prescribed with a healthy dose of counsel on when to stop. Otherwise, it can easily become addictive and absolutely get in the way of doing the things one ought to be doing in order to try and save a marriage. I KNOW I am not off base here, nor am I taking this personally. I just feel strongly that newcomers here ought to be given good and well thought out guidance when it comes to dealing with things this important.
