Divorced, but 'still hopeful' to reconcile.

[still hopeful]

Flicka,

I am uncertain about the meaning of your message. I would love to feel comfortable and confident in the way that you and others do in DBing, but I am also confident that many people have had both successes and failures in their efforts from both ends of the spectrum. I come here for support and to air 'things' out so I can process them. I come here to get different perspectives, NOT orders on what I must do. I am doing the best that I know how and I know that my efforts might blow up in my face, but I am doing the best that I am able. If that is frustrating to others, so be it. I am not them and my sitch is not theirs. I don't like my odds of reconciling with my XW, but at least I still have odds...many don't. I'm still working on me every day. I am a good man. I deserve better. I deserve more. I deserve my wife back, but I don't control that. My wordiness is me processing. My craziness is me dealing with a reality that I didn't choose and I don't like. If my friend Wil is easier to like, again, so be it. I like his life better than I like mine, but I like me! QUESTION: What are you in awe about? Since everybody wants to have magic with their ex-lovers, that makes me normal, no...? I'm not sure what your R is like with your husband from day to day, but if my relationship with my XW is better than yours, that makes me sad for both of you, because ours is certainly NOT good. We all have crap to deal with, sometimes other people's crap seems easier to deal with because it isn't OURS.

I give up. I defer!

Tom, you are so whacked and intense and wordy and crazy. I bet you win!!

PLEASE EXPLAIN: I admit. I am selfish. I want it all with my XW. I may not get that, but it won't be because I gave up on finding the correct answers to make our R great.

If I sound a bit terse, it's because I'm hurt sometimes by people who I believed cared about me as a person. I know I am not right all the time. I'm just making the best I can of a sh!tty situation. If I offended you, Flicka, or anyone else, I sincerely apologize.