That's one of the problems. We all ceased to exist as an individual. And we floated along not doing the right thing. When you lose yourself and expect the M/R or your spouse to bring you 'happiness' then we've done something wrong. But we ought not fool ourselves - if our W's were unhappy, how could we have been truly happy? I know for me, I wasn't happy in my R with my W for a long time now...we both weren't filling each others needs. I have to look at that cold hard fact and deal with it.
This is exactly where I was - unhappy, trying to fix it, but not sure how -- right up until the bomb.
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But in the meantime, keep your eyes off your spouse and the situation and stick them where they belong - on you.
It's like a wheel. You have the hub and alot of spokes. The center of the hub should be YOU and not something else - spouse, job, status, money, etc... Those things are all spokes. When a spoke breaks it doesn't throw off the rest of the wheel. But if you have something besides you as the hub, when the hub breaks all the spokes fall out...
And this is what we are all experiencing.
Exactly. This is why I come here - to have this stuff shoved down my throat again and again until maybe someday I can make it stick.
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My psychiatrist told me - "She doesn't respect you. When a woman loses respect for her man, that's when she leaves." - Not sure how on target that statement is, but my W certainly doesn't respect me.
I can tell you for sure that my wife lost respect for me.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
