True Love or True Fog? Part II - The Fertile Void

[Tawnya]

Silva and Silver..I agree..my daughter even noticed that about how self centered it all is. She blogs/status updates on another alt univ site that I don't use..and a friend of mine told me that she put as her update "Why do the ones who want the divorce want to play the "poor me card"..which I was like "whoa..my daughter sees it"..

Tawnya

[pearlharbr]

Uh, yep, just looking at everyone's S...they are SOOOOO self-centered! And I consider myself to be a selfish person (working on it). But seeing all these examples really shines a light on it.

Pfft to all of them.

[kassie]

I personally thing the poor me card is about selfishness, self-centeredness and fear. They aren't thinking things through and reality pretty much puts it out there for them. Before my separation my H complained that I was spending his money for myself or the kids selfishly. I warned him that it would not be easy to live on his salary alone as he thinks. He swore he could do better. Since living on his own he swears he will not question me ever again with money. He wonders how I did what I did now. And he wonders, as everyone does how I do it at all. Anyway, he starts to complain to me and always stops himself on this one because he now knows I wasn't kidding him. When it came to filing taxes this year, I told him that I had to figure it out different ways to see what would benefit us the most - that is the usual advice with separated couples. He got pissed and made an appointment for his own, I knew that separately I would benefit and he wouldn't - but he took it right out of my hands. He hasn't complained either which makes me wonder what happened and whether or not we will be audited because he did something wrong. Oh well, just one more thing to worry about or not.

I don't know about your H, but mine doesn't thing much when it comes to practical things. He is usually over thinking every thing else though. His selfishness comes from fear and lack of thinking and planning. So, poor me is all about them - not your problem.

I frequently try to figure things out for a balanced view and he always accuses me of something just because he doesn't know enough. I have learned to just go with the flow - I offer and if he pushes me away - so be it. I will take care of myself.

[davidswife]

SilverFox,

I still say don't reply. If he gets curious enough, his lawyer can contact your lawyer who can tell his lwayer to tell the giant a$$ what the deal is.

At this point, I'd wash my hands of him. He needs a bigger dose of reality than he's gotten - and he's not going to like it.

For heaven's sake - why do these WAW's end up acting like seven year olds?

dw

[kassie]

Check me out when you have the time. I need some support for stepping out.

[Silver Fox]

Oh brother,

A letter came to the house today addressed to H. I opened it (I open everything). It was from a credit card company turning him down for an increase in his credit limit - due to "balances too high and time since delinquency too recent".

So, he's maxing out his cards, making late payments, and now apparently asking for more credit. BRILLIANT

[pearlharbr]

Grrr. This is why you need to get yourself protected financially. What a mess H is making for himself! Hopefully it will just be his problem alone. Oh wait, he's not alone. Hopefully it will be his and catb!tch's problem.

[hope3343]

Silver, Most waywards not only go crazy with OW but with their finances. They look for ways to cover the cost of carrying on their A.

Also your H might be racking up the credit because he is looking to go bankrupt and trying to use it all up before.

Make sure you will not be financially responsible for his debt.

I go to the atty on Thursday. I am looking to protect the most I can for my family. I know so many people that never fought and regretted it. My philosophy is if H comes out of the fog and wants to reconcile then at least I have salvaged something for both of us and H will be grateful, otherwise he will blow every cent he has.

Glad you are opening the mail. H got a post office box so I hardly get anything these days. REally miss steaming open those envelopes! lol

[silvagod]

Good for you for looking Silver.

If there is no redirect, then it's your perogative.

Do as others say though and ensure that you are NOT liable for any of his debt.

Time to feather your own nest Silver, let him and his cuckoo push each other out of theirs

[Tawnya]

{{{Silver}}} argh about the finances, and I do hope you get as far away from that as possible..yes my hub would complain that I was bad with our money but all the while was spending, or allowing OW to spend, oodles of $$..so..whatever now..I have no idea and don't wanna know

I hope you are having a great day my friend!!

Tawnya